Got drunk last night, which is something that's pretty rare for me. I was, at least, a happy drunk, and had a great time going out dancing to a once-a-month t-dance called "Mass". I went with a cute, lean guy with a long, smooth, lithe torso I've hung out with a few times over the last couple of months, and it was fun to dance with him and put my hands on such loveliness.

Looking back over my last few journals, I can see that it must look like I've entered a comparitively shallow period of my life. Dancing, and whoring around, instead of screenwriting, and tortured melancholy. I don't think that seeing the world in shades of grey is my strong point. I'm always careening between months of being focused and driven on the one hand, then weeks of being carefree and unproductive on the other. Can't seem to find the happy medium. It's not that my ambition is to be a drunken whore of a screenwriter, but it would be nice to be able to get things done while also making time for fun.

Inside the big swing of this playful period, there've been mini pockets of turbulence, with good and bad things balancing out. On the good side, I was swept away with the joyful movie "Bend it Like Beckham" on Saturday night, which I saw with Brett. On the bad side, there have been truly nasty squabbles in the family about who pays the bills for my mother's funeral./p>

Another piece of good news is that I finally get to do some business travel again. They're sending me to New Jersey for three days. Of course, Jersey is conveniently close to both Philly and NYC, so I'm taking a couple of days off, and spending the first weekend in Philly, and the second (Memorial Day weekend) in New York. It will be springtime, which is my favorite East Coast season, so I'm truly looking forward to it.

I learnt of this trip the same day I last talked to my Dad, where he told me the shocking news that he'd seriously considered suicide after my mother's funeral. In a way, I wasn't surprised, since I can completely understood how empty his life must have felt after losing his beloved companion of forty years. But I was surprised that he told me about it, and hasn't told anybody else. Our relationship has never been composed of intimate revelations of that type.

So, ups and downs, but, on balance, more ups than downs. The boyfriend front isn't looking too good. None of my hopefuls are panning out as hoped. However, there are more in the pipeline, with two dates setup by my matchmaker for the coming weeks. And Spring is in the air.