This hasn't been an easy week. On top of the never-ending business that seems to fill my life this year, what with plans to move, plans for my two-month Summer trip, gym, running, working on the website, social events, blah blah, I've been feeling under the weather too. And this week, it coincided too with a sudden ratcheting up of the pace at work. I feel pretty worn down.

And to cap it all, on Sunday Brian and I agreed that it wasn't working out. We've only been dating for six weeks, but he was the first person I've met in a long while where I allowed myself to get excited. And yet, that excitement didn't last for me, and I'm not exactly sure why.

A large part of it I'm sure is that my focus is elsewhere - on the business I mentioned in the first paragraph. But part of me realistically has to assess whether I should even be out there looking for someone. A successful romantic relationship comprises many parts, but the two most important for me are friendship and physical attraction. And there's the crux: friendship is required. I can count on the fingers of both hands the number of people in my lifetime with whom I've felt a genuine rapport - whether romantic or platonic. And where's the point in forcing a long-term relationship if that true rapport doesn't exist for me? I want to emphasize here that I'm solely talking about myself here, and not in any way generalizing to others.

Now, if it's hard for me to find friends of that nature - how much harder to find a friend for whom I also have a strong physical attraction! Jeez - what are the odds? As Brett is always telling me, I'm way choosy there too.

So for now (and I should note ruefully that this is not the first time in my life I've made a resolution like this), I'm accepting that it's not realistic for me to look for a life partner. Maybe one day the moons will align and it will happen - who knows? I'm certainly not going to block myself off from it should it happen. But I'm going to be happy with those few close friends that I've got, and get on with my thing :) In all honesty, I'm happy about this, and content, so please, don't write to commiserate with me. I mean that.