I'm wondering if I have an early form of the Millenium Bug. Something must explain my continuing sense of restlessness. It's been approaching a peak this week, and I've really been questioning everything: my job, my apartment, the city I live in, how I live my life, whether I have time to date or not.

There's no question I feel that life is too damned complicated right now! I'm feeling time-pressure from all directions. At work, I'm trying to squeeze in project work, and training, as well as support of a large website. While my employer has an official 35 hour work-week, it's expected, in the consulting group at least, that if work demands, you put in whatever hours are needed. That's fine, but I don't have any free hours to eat into from my personal life. The daily routines of gym, running, email, maintenance of my website alone leave me precious little free time. Now I've set myself ambitious goals of enlarging my social life, extending the website, seeking a new job in web-design, potentially finding a new apartment. Not to mention I'm dating again. Something has to give!

My mind was racing all day long. In the evening, I must have unloaded a bunch of it onto Cecilia during my workout, then onto Davis when I got together for dinner with him afterwards. It was nice to have Davis back in town though. I gave him a lift home and saw his new apartment - a cute, little apartment, at a reasonable price. I could just sense how happy he was to be back in San Francisco and to finally have a place of his own.

Tuesday wasn't a good day. I woke up far too early and never really got over it. By two thirty, I was totally out of it, and called it a day. Nothing happened the rest of the day, so let's gently pass over it :)

As I got up this morning, my mind was already whirring; cogitating on all the possibilities. I can't complain about having choices: unlike a lot of people, I've been lucky in my life, and I have a lot of choice. Maybe too much choice. As I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, and stared into my own eyes to try to figure myself out, I felt one of those moments of mystery - a slight disconnect from my own sense of self. Who was this person in the mirror, and how did he get where he is. Ever have moments like that, where there's a sense of wonder - you built your life, how did you make certain choices, what could have been different? But you ended up being you.

In the middle of the morning, I got a call from an old colleague of mine from my last job. Since, by pure coincidence, I'd heard just that morning that he'd left my old company for a new job, as soon as I heard his voice I knew there could only be one reason for him to call me - he wanted to headshrink me. I mean "head-hunt" :) Sure enough, he proposed that we have lunch. Laying aside all the captain of industry jargon he threw at me, the position he outlined to me sounds exciting - a software development or project management position at the well-financed Internet start-up he's joined. So I'm going to give it a whirl - time to polish up that resume. Could this have been better timing?

This is my first Winter working downtown, and, unlike in Berkeley, you can sense the approaching Holidays. There's already almost a Christmas spirit in the air that I'm sensing. And, of course, there are already Christmas decorations everywhere. Jeez, give Thanksgiving a chance!

At the same time, the early sunsets, and endlessly slow-moving cloudscapes give a sense of ennui which I only feel in the Fall. The sunsets every afternoon are gorgeous from our office.

During the afternoon, I finally, for almost the first time this week, got up a head of steam for work. I've been so unfocussed the rest of the week, not to mention unmotivated.

I don't know what it was tonight, but at the gym, and then also aftewards when I got my dinner to go at Pasta Pomodoro, several different men smiled at me or made eye-contact. It felt nice - I guess I must be having an extremely good hair day :)