It's hard being me :) Oh - I know - there are harder things in life than not being able to find clothes to fit, but still. I spent two hours looking for nice shirts (I'm going to have to hang up my jeans for my new job) but everything I liked was either too short in the arm, or if it was long enough in the arm, fitted me like a tent in the body. I've been moaning about this all my life but it's still frustrating. I'd be such a snappy dresser given the chance! About the only designer whose clothes fit me is Helmut Jahn. It's eery - I'm convinced that his last boyfriend must have been my doppelganger as most of his clothes fit me so well. Or used to. Maybe he has a new boyfriend now, as all of a sudden all his arms are too short. I was also, on a whim, trying on suits. I'm going to need a couple for my new job - thankfully not for everyday, but for occasional business meetings and the like. It's been ten years since I bought a suit and all of a sudden I actually fit suits better than I used to. Wow. A tangible benefit of working out all those years. This nice man at Saks called Alban found me a lovely suit that fit nicely. I wanted to try it on with a shirt and tie but my efforts at fastening the knot were embarrassing. Apparently nobody ties ties like that anymore - it's the style I learned in high-school uniform days.

Sunday, 13th June 1999 11.27 a.m.

Just got back from a lovely run along the Embarcadero. I feel so lucky to have such a great place to run nearbye. The weather was warm and sunny, so I guess I can quit complaining - for a while anyway :) For the first time since I started running, I felt I was in that zone where it almost became effortless. Of course, as soon as I noticed that, my internal self-analyzer started ticking and before I knew it it was effortmore again (how come that's not a word?) I noticed for the first time that in a couple of places they'd sunk brass plates, each with a line from a short poem. Wish they'd do more - it's a nice idea.

I passed this gorgeous hunky shirtless Asian guy who was steaming in the opposite direction - I tried out that special wink-wink eye-contact and his eyes did rotate slightly but inconclusively. Oh well.

Sunday, 13th June 1999 9.20 a.m.

I know people might find this a trifle strange, but it was a big deal for me to wear a tank-top to the gym yesterday. Yesterday, for some reason, I was feeling confident and psyched myself into it. And the heavens didn't fall. Okay - I'm crazy, don't tell me :)

Really, yesterday I was feeling strong and virile for half the day. Isn't it weird how somedays you wake up and you just feel like a strong, powerful person with lifeforce running through your veins? When I started off on the tennis court yesterday morning, I felt like I was going to send John chasing around the court. An hour and a half later after losing 6-3, of course, I felt a little different!

By 3.30, after tennis, the gym and some shopping, I was my usual tired self. Brett and I wanted to go see "Austin Powers". To my surprise, eventhough it was my turn to go to the East Bay (where Brett lives), he said he'd come over to the city. I hate going to Berkeley on weekends - isn't it bad enough that I work there? Anyway, I had to go off to get tickets before the 9.00 p.m. show sold out - but hell it was already sold out, so I ended up having to go to the East Bay anyway. At dinner in Oakland, I wrecked my diet plans by consuming mounds of pasta alfredo. It's always great to spend time with Brett. He's such a good buddy and we have great fun being mean and bitchy with the locals. I guess our friendship has gotten into a tiny rut that we seem comfortable with - we get together every Saturday for dinner and a movie.

My reaction to the movie was totally predictable. It was funny but boring - much like the last. I think Austin's character is totally charming and loveably innocent, and there were some hilarious jokes. I loved nutty Dr Evil - calling the micro cloned version of himself "Mini Me". But there were long stretches where I rubbed my eyes and looked around the cinema, bored. Oh well - I guess it was worth it for the jokes.