Finally bought my ticket to NYC today, and it felt good to be buying a ticket for a month-long vacation. It must be ten years since I did something like this! Ten years in the ratrace - oh boy. So I'm flying out on the 30th of June, and coming back on the 30th July. Now I have to buckle down and plan my itinerary.

Today at work it began to sink in that I'll be leaving. I've been with the company for six and a half years and know an awful lot of people there. I directly manage four people currently, and I kept thinking about how hard it's going to be to say goodbye. I don't want to overinflate my importance to the company, but there is no doubt it will be a sizeable blow when I leave. We had a big project meeting today and I confess I was feeling a little guilty - I'll be leaving in the midst of a crucial, almost make-or-break project to the company. But I also realize it's something that's completely right for me to do right now. It is, however, bad timing.

I hung out with Alan again yesterday (Hi Alan) I have to say that I really enjoy his company - he seems like a real mensch - even if he did call me a narcisist :) We went to see Star Wars - I enjoyed it just as much the 2nd time.

It's funny. Today at the gym I found myself thinking about the different interplays that take place. There's a bunch of different men that I've seen tens and tens of times, but never spoken to. In fact, we've never even acknowledged each other. Some I find attractive - or even very sexy - guys I'd go after, in fact. Others - the majority, don't fall into this category. The best looking guys - well, you'd think they know that they're at the top of the pyramid, judging by their behavior. They won't make any eye contact - in fact they almost seem rude in their efforts at avoiding it. They carry themselves with a certain hauteur and an air of awareness of their place in the pecking order.

Yet I'm sure that there are others who perhaps see me in the same way. Sometimes I get the feeling that everyone, even the gorgeous guys, are just waiting for someone to break the ice and poke through the protective shell. I know this is hardly profound, but it's just something I was thinking today. There is one guy in particular. He's absolutely beautiful - in my eyes at least. But I've never seen him interact with a soul. A couple of times at least, I've seen him at the video store renting a movie by himself. He strikes me as being so alone - almost a prisoner of his own beauty. Of course maybe he's happily married to some other gorgeous guy and it's all in my head :)