WHO SENT THE LONG-STEMMED ROSES
A Short Project for Screenwriting Class
FADE IN
INT. -- APARTMENT - INSIDE FRONT DOOR -- MORNING
The doorbell RINGS. Moments later FRANK, mid-forties, balding with moustache,
rushes to the door, removes an apron from his waist and hangs it on a hook next
to the door. He smoothes down his moustache, checks what remains of his hair in
the mirror, and opens the door.
DELIVERY BOY in blue uniform with the INSIGNIA "Blooms by Brenda". A CAP with a
long, low forepeak conceals the top half of his face. He holds a long narrow
white BOX of the type normally used to deliver long-stemmed roses.
DELIVERY BOY
(mumbling)
Need somebody to sign for this.
FRANK
Oh my, what do we have here?
(he simpers)
Is it for me?
HUBERT (OS)
Frank, honey, who is it?
Frank turns to shout down the hallway.
FRANK
Hubert, dear, you sweet thing, just what have you been
doing?
(turns to delivery boy)
Now where do I sign?
HUBERT, mid-forties, pleasantly plump with a jolly face approaches the door.
HUBERT
What's going on, Frank? Who's this young man?
Frank turns back to the delivery boy.
FRANK
Now, show me where I sign, dear.
DELIVERY BOY
(the boy looks at his clipboard)
Errm, are you Hubert Rumpkins?
FRANK
(standing back in shock)
Why no. Is ...
HUBERT
(pushing through in front of Frank)
Is that for me then?
He looks sweetly at Frank, not noticing Frank's pallor.
HUBERT
(kisses Frank on the cheek)
Honey, you shouldn't have. But I love you anyway!
He reaches for the clipboard.
FRANK
Now wait one minute big boy.
(he grabs Hubert's outstretched hand and
starts to twist)
Why don't you tell me just who these are from!
HUBERT
Honey, you're hurting me. Owww! Stop! I thought they
were from you. Owww! - stop twisting my arm!
Frank lets go of Hubert's arm and turns to the delivery boy.
FRANK
Well, who are they from? It must say on your clipboard.
DELIVERY BOY
(scrutinizing his clipboard)
Nope. Just says to deliver to Hubert Rumpkins.
FRANK
(to Hubert)
You snivelling wretch. It's from another one of your
tricks, isn't it!
HUBERT
No, honey, I swear ....
FRANK
(turning back to the delivery boy)
Okay, give me the box!
DELIVERY BOY
Nuh uh. It says here to deliver to Hubert Rumpkins only.
And that's what I'm gonna do!
FRANK
(grabbing the box)
Give it here you young whippersnapper!
The delivery boy backs off, pulling the box from Frank's grasp.
DELIVERY BOY
Hey, I'm just doing my job, man.
HUBERT
Frank, dear, you're making a fool of yourself.
Frank looks calculatingly at the delivery boy.
FRANK
Don't I know you? Could you take your cap off?
DELIVERY BOY
(looking at the ground and mumbling)
Nu uh, I'm new here.
FRANK
So how much do you make an hour?
DELIVERY BOY
Ten bucks.
FRANK
Wanna make fifty right now?
DELIVERY BOY
Err, sure!
FRANK
Then give me the goddamn box!
DELIVERY BOY
(shyly)
Errrm ... where's the money?
FRANK
I'll give it to you after you give me the box.
DELIVERY BOY
You kidding? No way - give me the money first.
FRANK
(soothingly)
Listen dear, I don't have my wallet on me.
(looking back at Hubert)
And if I leave this door for one moment that ... viper
... will get the box off you and destroy whatever
incriminating evidence is attached to those roses.
DELIVERY BOY
I won't let him. You come back with the fifty bucks I'll
still be here with the roses.
FRANK
Well ...
(he looks back and forth between Hubert and
the delivery boy)
... okay. But if you double cross me young man, I'll
have your job!
Frank goes down the hallway. Once Frank has disappeared, Hubert pulls out his
WALLET. He pulls out some BILLS.
HUBERT
Here, son, here's your fifty bucks. Now give me the box.
DELIVERY BOY
(taking the money and counting it)
Hmmm. I dunno. Maybe we should wait until your hubby
gets back.
HUBERT
Why you .... Give me back my money then!
The delivery boy returns the fifty dollars just as Frank returns. Frank proffers
his own FIFTY DOLLARS to the delivery boy.
DELIVERY BOY
Okay, here's the deal. The price has just gone up. I
hear fifty dollars from the man on the left. Do I hear
sixty?
HUBERT
This is ridiculous.
(he looks through his wallet, and pulls out
all the bills)
There, that's ... seventy five, seventy six dollars.
That's all I have. Now give me the box!
DELIVERY BOY
(looking at Frank, and refusing the bills)
Seventy six dollars from Mr Rumpkins. Do I hear ninety?
Frank and Hubert look at each other. They nod, then simultaneously make to grab
the box from the delivery boy. There's a brief struggle, but finally Frank and
Hubert wrest the box from the boy's grasp. They rip the box open.
FRANK
(shocked)
Why ....
HUBERT
It's ... empty!
They look accusingly at the delivery boy. Suddenly, he pulls off his cap.
DELIVERY BOY
(laughing)
April Fool!
FRANK
(looking at Hubert)
It's Brenda's boy.
DELIVERY BOY
(still grinning)
I'm sorry. Brenda made me do it. She said that you two
are always so jealous of each other, that ... owww! Let
go of my arm. You're hurting me!
HUBERT
(grabbing his other arm and looking at Frank)
I'll hold him, dear, you punch ...