This week I almost became the owner of a serenely beautiful two bedroom loft. If I'd gotten it, it would have been just about two weeks after I'd first decided to buy. I got back from New York thursday night, and on Friday started putting the wheels in motion to secure pre-approval for a loan. On Saturday I met up with a real estate agent who organized a list of Sunday open-houses for me. And on Sunday, accompanied by my friend Terry, he of exquisite taste, I rushed all over town on a gorgeous afternoon seeing about fifteen properties in a little over two hours. But it was the loft that really took my attention; striking open spaces, well-finished, and with the most beautifully landscaped yard (with a gazebo, a hot-tub, a bamboo grove, and seating for about fifty people). I didn't think that I'd be able to get things together in time to get an offer in by Wednesday, but I scrambled, along with my mortage broker and real-estate agent, and got the thing done by Wed afternoon. For two brief days, I fantasized about living in that stunning space, until I got the news yesterday afternoon that it had gone to somebody else. Still, there'd only been four bids on it, which was somewhat encouraging. I've heard of as many as twenty-five bids going on desirable properties in San Francisco. So now it's back to the open houses - another round of fifteen of them tomorrow.

So the last few days have been unbelievably stressful. Not only because of chasing after that loft, but also because of eleven hour days at work, and a lot of pressure from project management. It seemed, this week, that every possible obstacle was thrown in front of me, as I rushed to meet my work obligations, and keep my house hunt moving forward. I had to have lunch with a bunch of my co-workers from my last job, which I left almost five years ago. And there were a couple of chiropractic visits to keep my back in recovery. And my parking permit has expired so I had to go to stand in line to sign an affidavit because the renewal had never arrived blah blah. And on the day I put my offer in for the loft, I had to meet with my real estate agent in the afternoon, then rush over the Golden Gate Bridge to meet with my chronic fatigue doctor, all along fielding constant urgent calls from work on my cell phone. My tension level was rising dangerously high.

But you could not say the same things about my testosterone levels, apparently. I've been under hormone treatment for well over a year now, as part of my chronic fatigue treatment. Overall, I've benefitted remarkably from the treatment; my energy level is close to normal, and I never, any more, have the debilitating periods of low energy I experienced for most of my adult life. But a few weeks ago, I cut out the hormones entirely in order to give my skin time to clear up. It was shockingly vain: I didn't want to go to the White Party with acne on my shoulders. Unfortunately, it coincided with my latest bloodwork, in preparation for this week's visit to my doctor, and sure enough my testosterone levels had slumped to dramatic lows. No wonder that I was feeling unsexual and tired around the time of the White Party. Since then, I've resumed the hormones, and I can definitely feel the difference, and not just physically. I've been noticing guys again. On Wednesday I went to a Cinquo de Mayo party at a friend of Scott's, and found myself feeling distinctly amorous towards a cute thirty-year old actor. So I guess the lesson is there's a trade off between vanity and vitality, and right now I'm favoring the latter.

This afternoon I went to see two open houses in the Mission, both of them gorgeous pre-war two bedroom flats, for $699,000. I'd like to make an offer for both of them, but I guess I'm not sure if I'm even allowed to make multiple simultaneous offers. I'm a neophyte when it comes to real estate. I talk knowingly of "escrow" without having a clue what it really is.

Tonight I have my first free Saturday night in a long time. I was looking forward to watching the "Prime Suspect" movie I taped weeks ago (with the wonderful Helen Mirren), and I'll still probably get to it tonight. But I have to do some work first, ugh.