I've been fighting all week against taking another East Coast business trip next week. First it was for our company's annual sales meeting in our headquarters in the south. My argument there was that, hey, I've not had a single week at home since June. If I have to travel, I want it to be for something serious, not our annual gravy train. Not to mention that the project is so busy right now; I couldn't spare the time away from it. My real aversion to taking this trip, however, was that you had to share a hotel room. Anyway, I won my point, to the envy of all of my colleagues, none of whom were able to get out of it.

There was some talk that maybe I should go to New York instead, but that came to nothing until yesterday, when the gathering forces came to the consensus that I should freeze my ass off in Manhattan next week. This time, I argued fiercely and with a certain amount of pompous self-righteousness. I wondered who it was who insisted on people being in New York. I mean, most times when I go there, I just work in our New York office - and there is nothing gained by my being there. But our ultimate customer, a shadowy group known only as "Recognizance" don't trust us, and they're the ones calling the shots. So I told my project manager let me talk to them, so I can explain the destructive effect their insistance is having upon my personal life. I don't think the project manager liked that idea, so I'm reprieved.

For one reason or another, I've met more than my usual fair share of eligible men recently. But with all of my travel, it's been difficult to schedule dates, and reach any kind of momentum. On Saturday late afternoon, I was finally settling in to San Francisco after two consecutive work weeks in New York, and called J, the Brazilian I'd met at a club the weekend before, to see if we could get together. I got his voice mail, so I tried D, a guy I'd only talked with online, but who seemed like a great catch. I got him on his cell phone, and since he was in the neighborhood, he volunteered to stop by so that we could meet. Of course no sooner had he rung the doorbell than the phone rings, and the caller-id reveals it's J. I let it go to voicemail and answered the door instead.

D is a very tall Asian guy from Macao. I'd only seen one photograph of him - shirtless, he had a long, lean, muscular, smooth torso - a very similar build to mine. He was extremely cute in person, with a charming, easy smile, and a boyishly enthusiastic manner. He's a research scientist so he's smart too. And it gets better; not only does he love classical music, but he's a pretty good pianist too.

My apartment has a corner nook in the living room which consists of two long, cushioned benches wrapped around an "L"-shaped wall lined with windows. It overlooks neighboring gardens with San Francisco hills as a backdrop. It's a wonderful space for solitary lazing, reading the paper, taking a nap. Or to hang out with a cute boy and chat. I felt we were instantly taken with each other, and despite my honorable intentions, within an hour we were rolling around on the floor together. But at the back of my mind was the nagging thought that I'd asked J if he wanted to get together. Meanwhile, my phone was right there in the alcove, it's message light blinking red with accusation.

So I tore myself away from D, went in my bedroom and called J back. We made plans to meet up at the apartment of a friend of his around eleven, to go dancing at my least favorite club, Mezzanine. At this point D and I were still at least in our jeans, and I made a last stab effort at keeping our first interaction from being all about sex. I wanted more from this guy. So we went out for dinner, and made plans to get together again midweek.

I met up with J and his friends much later at Mezzanine, and enjoyed hanging out for a while. We all danced together, and a couple of his friends were particularly friendly. This year is going to be my 40th birthday, and one of my resolutions is to have a large birthday party. The problem is that I don't really know enough people to have a large birthday party, so I'm going all out this year to broaden my social network. Meeting somebody like J, then is a godsend.

But there was a problem. I'd felt already some reserve about dating him because he reminded me a little of my last serious boyfriend, X. And this night, at Mezzanine, he was coming on pretty strong. It was setting my alarm bells off.

J had to work early the following morning, so we didn't stay at Mezzanine much past two, and I drove him home. I was tired, still jetlagged from having arrived from New York at midnight the night before, so I told him we'd see each other the next day, because I wanted to get a good night's sleep tonight. But as I drove off, some devil within me said "Why not go to Metropolis?", the club I'd wanted to go to in the first place. I thought, well, I'll just drive over there and see what it looks like. I don't need to go in - I'll just drive past. But of course, I parked, paid another ridiculous $20 and plunged in, checking my t-shirt at the coat-check.

I hadn't been there more than five minutes before I ran into T, the hot, sweet guy I'd met just before going to England in late December. We danced, and hugged, and yelled sweet nothings at each other. But in truth, I was tired. Moreover, I was feeling just a little bit ... uneasy, I guess. I felt that I was maybe reaching a point of just using people, rather than valuing them as individuals. In retrospect, I think I was wrong to feel that way. But that's how I felt that night. So I didn't stay long at Metropolis either, and went home to sleep alone, in my bed.

Since Saturday, I've seen two of those guys again, T and D, and had wonderful, sweet evenings with both of them. I've found myself pushing J away, knowing that he's just not right for me. But I'm left with the rare luxury of seeing two guys, both of whom I like very much. So glad I'm not going away next week!

It's a good job all these guys had names starting with different letters - it helped to simplify the story a little. Unfortunately, the story gets more complicated tonight because I have a date with a 2nd J.