Photo by Camilo, taken Dec 30, 2003

Oh how good it is to feel healthy again. I know I only had a cold, but it was the mother whence all colds sprang (I'm rereading Tolkien's "The Silmarillion" so please pardon occasional indulgances in flowery language). We had a beautiful weekend in San Francisco, and Saturday morning was the first day I felt recovered enough to be able to go to the gym. I did go, but had a rather pathetic workout, just through feeling tired out. In the afternoon, I ran errands, which had me walking about the Castro, and it felt so nice to be fully back home again. In the space of my half hour at the gym, and the hour spent walking around, I ran into several people I knew, and had brief chats. And at every store, the service was polite and friendly, especially after six months in New York.

Way back when I moved to San Francisco eleven years ago, I went out dancing one night with my new best friend John Paul. I think I was in a relationship with X at that point, but it was understood that when either of us were out of town we were free to play around. I was much skinnier back then, and much less self-confident. This was long before the era of taking my shirt off at clubs. Anyway, that night I met the cutest, muscular Asian guy, with a huge smile. And shy though I was, I danced with him in an intimate way that was completely unknown to me then.

Unfortunately for me, I didn't get the payoff of taking him home and having my way with him, but still it was the first time I'd ever had such a fun, spontaneous, relatively uninhibited time at a club. Later, this guy started to date the roommate of my boyfriend, which led inevitably to mute jealousy on my part.

Ever since then, every time I'd see this guy at the gym or on the street, we'd nod to each other and smile, but that was the extent of it. From observing him at the gym, he's one of those well-connected, happy-go-lucky, uninhibited, social guys I always envy; the kind of guy who knows all the other cute guys at the gym. I've also seen him about town hand-in-hand with an older man who must be his partner. (I hope this guy doesn't read this - he'll think I've been stalking him.)

This New Years Eve, he was out at the same club I was. I've hardly ever seen him at clubs, and he came over to me with his huge smile. We hung out off and on that night, joking and flirting with each other. He hinted that he had an agreement with his partner about seeing other guys, but again, we ended up going home separately. He knew so many people, and I felt awkward at inserting myself into his entourage.

But since that night he's been extremely friendly when I've seen him at the gym. I'm so taken with his energy and sensuality. What amazes me is that he's a couple of years older than me, not though you'd know it. I know he has a partner, so I've no illusions of anything beyond just enjoying our interactions. Oh, and hopefully meeting some of his cute friends.

I'm in New York now, after a comfortable business-class flight. No sooner had my towncar left the airport than I got a call from my project manager. Although it was close to ten o'clock, they were, unbelievably, still at work. And worse, they wanted me to come over (the hotel is right across 7th Avenue from the office) as soon as I'd checked in. Welcome back to New York.