In screenwriting class the other night, I realized the problem with my life. It's post-modern. My life I mean. That's the only explanation. You see, in "classic" narrative story-telling, our protagonist moves along an arc towards a goal. There may be obstacles and conflict along the way, but our hero grows by overcoming those problems. And the story ends, usually, but not always, with the hero achieving his goal.

In a post-modern story, on the other hand, there either is no clear goal, or the protagonist (assuming the story has a protagonist) isn't aware of the goal and stumbles along in the dark, getting, probably, nowhere in the end. That definitely feels more like my life. At least right now. Okay, let's deconstruct this. I do have a goal - to be happy. It's the stumbling along in the dark that makes my story post-modern. Maybe I have the wrong goal.

Or maybe there are just too many obstacles. I'd better be careful here, or else my story will careen from the rules of post-modernism into the murky depths of experimental film, where chaos rules. Oi veh. What the hell am I talking about, you wonder.

It's just suddenly hit me with a jolt that my career is going nowhere. I'm not, any longer, that interested in my career, it's true. But there's no guarantee that I will be able to switch careers and make a living as a film-maker, at least, not any time soon. So I'm scared that in, say, two years time I'll be exactly where I am now. Same job, still disliking it, still unsatisfied. Right now, it's been almost three years since I started this job, and, like every last one of my peers, I've gone nowhere. It's a dead-end position.

It's made me wonder if I should broaden my options. The peculiar problem with my job is that there are no career-growth opportunities with my company in California. If I was willing to relocate, though, it's a different matter. While tossing around uneasily in bed this morning, I considered the obvious choice - moving to our headquarter-city in our headquarters in the south. Ugh was my obvious reaction. My second take, though, was that at least I'd be able to afford to buy a house, and live in the countryside and have a dog. But our headquarters in the south? It would also make it so difficult to continue film-making, since there'd really be no support.

The only other alternative with my company is Austin, Texas, where we have a big research facility. And that's not altogether a bad choice. I like Austin, and it has a very strong film-making community. It would mean leaving all my friends behind, though. But I guess I could always move back here if I didn't like it. It's worth exploring. More than that, it makes obvious sense. Talk about a twist-ending.