It has taken me a while to get used to the idea of having a boyfriend. It had been so long since I'd had one before, that the phrase "my boyfriend" didn't leap naturally from my lips. Well, I suppose I'll have to now get used to saying "I'm single" again, which should be an easier transition. Jed and I broke up on Sunday.

There was no acrimony; in fact, it was a meeting of the minds. We were trying to talk out the issue of how to make our relationship work given the stage he's at in his life; specifically, given that he'll be moving to the East Coast in August to start teaching at a high-pressure university. Before then, he not only has to in fact write and defend his dissertation, but he also has to prepare teaching materials for the brand new undergraduate courses he'll be teaching in the Fall.

As we talked, it began to sink in that there was no real way to make this work for us. He'd be leaving in August, and, by then, we would not have had enough time and history spent with each other to sustain what would then become a long-distance relationship.

It was very sad to realize this, since we both really like each other, and feel so compatible in many ways. We talked about keeping things going until the Summer, but I think we both felt that the best thing was to end it now. It wasn't easy, though: it's always hard to go through a break up, but it's particularly hard when you both have strong feelings for one another. It was a sad drive back home from Palo Alto for me on Sunday night.

Since then, I've felt, strangely, a lot happier than I expected. The last few weeks have been difficult for both of us, because I think we both realized that the limited time we had to spend together was creating distance. Now that that's resolved, that difficulty is over. I have a bit of a vacancy in my life now, it's true. But I have the very strong feeling that Jed and I will eventually be very good friends. He's a teriffic guy, and he has always struck me as someone who would be a true friend.

Needless to say, since the breakup, I've vowed to be single for the rest of my life. But I've made that vow several times in the past, without much success :)