One of the best things about getting older is that you start to recognize ways in which you're actually learning from your mistakes. In other words, you start getting wiser. It's almost surprising to see it happen. You no longer make simple assumptions about why people behave a certain way. You restrain yourself, perhaps, in a situation where your younger self might have leapt into the fray.

There's another form of acquiring wisdom which, by my interpretation, aims to accelerate this process, called cognitive therapy. (Come to think of it, I wonder if "self help" isn't just another name for the same idea :) But I confess I've never been able to believe that I have the power to restructure my thought patterns in the way cognitive therapy suggests. My own experiences have lead me to this belief: just seeing how no matter how strong my intentions to change myself, it rarely leads to real, measurable change. You could say that one of the little bits of "wisdom" or self-knowledge I think I've picked up as I've aged is that I'm almost powerless to be anything except myself.

But perhaps I drew the wrong conclusions from previous failures to change? I guess this is part of maturing too - realizing that it's too easy to jump to the most facile conclusion. Take an example I've been grappling with recently. I go through periods of intense fatigue. Now some people have suggested to me that it could be related to my diet, which is heavy on proteins. I usually reply that I've had this fatigue issue for a decade, while I've only been on this diet for a year - so the two can't be connected. Obvious right? Maybe not - what if the diet is what's making me tired now, and something else was responsible for the fatigue I often experienced in earlier years? A more complex explanation, but not necessarily out of the ballpark.

The view from my new office towards the Embarcadero and the Financial District

In the other direction, over Russian, Nob and Telegraph Hills, with (not today) the Golden Gate Bridge in the background.

But there has been some playtime too. I had a great lunch with Hunter today. Hunter, who mans the front-desk in our office each afternoon, is becoming a good friend. Hunter is one of those gay guys who always knows exactly how to behave, which restaurants to eat in, which flowers to order, how to trim a Christmas tree, and how to spice up a salad. He has such a lovely life, lucky guy. He only works half days - he spends his mornings at the gym, or pottering about his apartment. He lives in perfect harmony with his artist boyfriend Jimmy. They've been together twenty years and share so much in common. Hunter says that Jimmy his his best buddy - which is exactly like it should be but seems so rarely to be. And Hunter loves to smile. I've taken his photo several times now and they all have his big radiant smile in them!

Ah a life of leisure - Hunter strolls to our lunch meeting in the rain

Over the weekend, it was fun to finally start looking at houses. A friend and I went to some open houses. Of course, I'm not sure (until I get my darned taxes figured out!) if I can afford to buy yet, but it was good to see what was out there. But it was a little discouraging too. You guys out there who live in Chagrin Falls, Ohio or wherever have no idea how goddamn expensive it is here. We looked at some brand new lofts in the warehouse district. Yeah, they're large and have lots of light, but they've no real privacy if you have guests since the whole thing is basically a duplex one-bedroom with no walls on the bedroom. These lofts had no architectural distinctiveness, were in a nothing-special neighborhood, had pokey little balconies - and yet they were over half a million!!! Maybe I should move to Ohio.

I got an unexpected email from my sister, Kirstie the other day. Not having been home in five years, it was especially nice to get a photo with it. She's the smart one - the only one of my siblings I unequivocally like. I've been trying to figure her out for 28 years.