Boy where my legs stiff this morning. I guess maybe this tired old guy overdid the athletics a bit yesterday. The morning proved very quickly to be a scorcher, with the usual heat and humidity returning after a few days off torturing some other locality. I'd been extremely lucky, apparently. I mean it has been hot since I got here, but nothing like today! During the day, each time I returned to my car was literally like entering a furnace - the stearing wheel was painful to the touch.

Since starting the new job, I've become increasingly depressed about it. I still know, intellectually, that it will improve. I remember the first month when I started my last job and how I felt wretchedly out of place. I think I'm a hell of a lot stronger than I was then. But even so, I'm a bit depressed.

This week has only emphasized it. Part of it is the complete lack of a support network. My boss is based in Kansas, and he's too busy to really give me much attention. I feel that part of the reason he's scheduled me for this two-week training session, which, so far has been almost a complete dud, is that he needed to find something for me to do to justify hiring me. It wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't the expectation that I'm some kind of expert and expected to be a leader. How can I lead when there's so much I don't know about how they do the job here?

Anyway, those are the types of issues I've been torturing myself with. And, like I said, I know eventually everything will be fine. Today, at least, some good things happened, and I felt slightly encouraged. On paper, the day looked bad, from the outset. One big part of my new job, I'm learning, is that I need to really network amongst by peers, and that is a skill I'm sorely lacking. I'm just too shy and introverted to feel confident enough to go and buddy up with my peers, particularly when the main tools for doing so are the internet and the telephone.

Today, I was supposed to arrange for myself little one-on-one sessions with those peers of mine that are based in the headquarters, here. So I walked in the door to keep an appointment with O.B., the head of the group. Right away, the guy put me at my ease. He was African-American, and, for good reasons or bad, I seem to relate to African-Americans better than to any other racial group. I also found it encouraging that my company has people like him in high places, as I've found that to be rare in the high-tech world. He was chatty, and helpful, and had all kinds of useful pieces of advice. More than anything, though, he put me at ease enough to spend a good part of the day just walking the halls of his department, knocking on doors, introducing myself, and picking brains. Everyone, apart from one guy, was " real nice" (Keith tries out his our headquarters in the south accent).

O.B. also gave me an office for the duration of my stay - a little place I can call my home on campus - a featureless office, small and windowless, but it's something.

When I got home, I found out that I couldn't get a cheap ticket to New York for the weekend, like I'd hoped. So I did some research on the web and pretty much settled on going to Norfolk, Virginia for the weekend. I reserved a hotel room near the naval base (big surprise, huh?). When I booked the room, the woman asked me which state San Francisco was in. No comment.

I'm not fully decided on going though - it depends on how I feel when I wake up on Saturday. We'll see. Also, I do kind of have a hot date tomorrow night with a hunky, masculine Southern boy - ya never know what will happen, so ... :)

It's amazing how quickly I settle into a routine. I'm not sure that's such a good thing! I was reading today in the New York Times On The Web, that constantly upsetting your normal routine by doing things like wearing your watch upside down for one day keeps the mind young and supple. I wish that was all you needed to do to keep your body young and supple, but unfortunately that's why I've developed my routine here of going to the gym after each work day.

Doing the gym thing

As gyms go, it's pretty nice for me. They don't play music, for one thing - no techno like in gay gyms and no Michael Bolton like the straight gyms :) Another reason I like it is that there's hardly anybody there! True, this means there's nobody to ogle (which brings to mind the eery lack of conspicuous gay presence on this campus). But it also means there's no waiting to use the weights.

When I came out, the sun was slanting low, but it was still steamy hot. The evening was spent at home with the excellent hotel food. Not sure why it's so good - you wouldn't really expect it in this hotel based on the service. But there you have it - the "New South".